ਯਾਦਾਂ – yaadan – memories

•••• ਯਾਦਾਂ – yaadan – memories ••••

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The life of a woman… or is it the life of a girl that becomes a woman. When does a girl become a woman? After she hits 16… 18. After marriage? After giving birth to children? Then what happens? Society gives her names of a daughter then a wife then a mother… Does she not have her own “identity”… will society forever only call her names..? And never call her “her” by “her” own identity. When a woman reflects back on her life remembering her yaadan as a young girl, a daughter, then wife and then mother… what does she think…

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Was a moment in her yaadan that she lived for herself…? Since a child, she is told you must behave a certain way… you abide to these rules and customs… you must know how to **cook and clean*** or else what will your in-laws say. She wants to study but is told the worth of an educated woman is nothing. If she wants to do something for herself she is told you do this only once you are married. And once she is married she told, well you should done whatever you wanted before you were married… Then she has children and her life becomes her children she never thinks anything else could be her life aside from her children. Her happiness comes from her husband and children.
She spends her time with children and doesn’t realise when they grow and become young adults. And now she sits remembering her days looking through her yaadan. Taking a deep breath… holding the photograph of when she was a girl reflecting she thinks… now I must live and live for myself and fulfill my own dreams.

yaada

 

Yaadan satrangi ne puttar, yaadan ehsaas ne, jazbaat ne…they are various different thoughts. Yaadan kadi vich kar nai hondi’aa they are always either good or bad. Yaadan kadi dukh deni’aa ne te kadi sukh…. depend karda yaad kis naal joori aa …koyi shehr di yaad… kisi insaan di yaad… kado, te kis tarah us di yaad aa jaye koi pata ni… ik geet… ik tasvaar tanu us pal di yaad karva denda hai te oh pal twade akhan moreh aa janda… 

– Balbir Kaur, my mother. 

mum looking